
After seeing Ionia’s post about sex and romance while reading a book that had a surprising amount of genitalia attention, I’m tempted to make fun of sex scenes. I’m a weak-willed person, so here we go with ‘Rules to Make a Sex Scene’.
- Refer to sweat at least twenty times.
- Nibbling can be done on any body part and be a turn-on. Yummy elbows.
- Bouncing must be the most common action word. Jiggling doesn’t have the same effect.
- The woman always notices the weight of the guy when she’s on the bottom.
- The man never notices the weight of the woman when she’s on top.
- Woman on top equals goddess and woman on bottom equals angel.
- Every character is a pornstar level pro at oral sex. Doesn’t matter if they’re a virgin.
- Both characters must have a moment where they’re surprised they’re having sex.
- Use at least 4 terms to…