No One Likes Hairy Syrup – Wise Words from Mrs Finnegan, Housekeeper & Lady Authoress

Dear Friends and Followers

Here I am, back where I should be.
Had I known that signing one’s name and composing encouraging little messages would be SO exhausting I might have thought trice before bowing to PUBLIC demand and becoming an authoress. Still, the satisfaction of hearing from DELIGHTED readers is worth any sacrifice.

Enough about me. The year turns and it is almost rose hip time.
These are best harvested just after the first frost, when the fruits are bright red and a little soft to the TOUCH.

You can use them in a variety of ways: fresh, dried (put then in your pillow to banish nightmares) and in the form of a syrup which adds a sweet tartness to most foods (not BEEF, do not try that).

The recipe is simplicity itself.

Collect all the rose hips you can find, cut up, DE-HAIR and boil twice. Discard the hips and add sugar to the liquid. The proportion is half the weight of the fruit before boiling. So, if you start with eight pounds of rose hips you need four pounds of sugar for the last stage.
Then bottle as if they were pickles. The syrup will not keep as long but no matter because you will soon use it up. You can take a delicious spoonful every morning as it does WONDERS for your health.

Proper Book Etiquette

I know that Mrs Finnegan’s Guide to Love, Life and Laxatives is the first book many have owned and they may now be wondering how they should treat it.

In a word: carefully.

• Do not wet your fingers as you turn the page
• Do not turn a page if you have handled offal, treated a dog for distemper or scrubbed chamber pots.
• Do not turn down a corner of a page in order to mark your place. Shopping lists make excellent book markers.
• Do not place it face down on the table lest you break the spine.
• Do not use it to JOT DOWN shopping lists
• Do not shame slow readers. They are savouring every word.
• Do not say no one loves this book more than me. It will hurt feelings.
• Do not lend it to family, friends or strangers.
• Do NOT use it to jot down shopping lists
• Do not reveal what happens in the end.

However, you may:

• Tell family, friends and strangers how much you have enjoyed reading it.
• Tell family, friends and strangers to put it on their shopping list.
• Display it prominently in your home. This is NOT showing off but an act of amiable generosity that will encourage family, friends and strangers to share in your good fortune.

In closing, I reflect on the fact that so often on special occasions there is an unwelcome GUEST in the room.

At my book signing sessions, it was the butler.

I could not keep Mr Cubbage hidden from the throngs. Was there ever so unhappy a couple?

If you would like to purchase your own copy of Mrs Finnegan’s masterpiece click HERE. If you want to subscribe to her newsletter (free of all charges and gratuities) click HERE. If you can advise Mrs F on the BEST of way of dealing with butlers in general, and Mr Cubbage in particular, add a comment below.

What others have said about Mrs Finnegan’s Guide to Love, Life and Laxatives

Victoria Chatham, Canada: Give Mrs. Finnegan a chance to amaze you with her wit and wisdom. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed.
The Scenic Writer’s Shack, Australia: …invaluable counsel dispensed by the shudderingly all-knowing and worldly-wise, rotund housekeeper Mrs Finnegan – who, looks-wise, is equal parts Robin Williams’ Mrs Doubtfire and Misery’s Kathy Bates
Mrs S Wallis, Norfolk: Splendid read. Well researched with a chuckle on every page. We all need a Mrs Finnegan in our lives.