Mrs Finnegan has been UNWELL. Did You Notice?
ALAS! I have not been able to pick up my quill for some weeks. Have I been missed?
(If the answer is no, may I remind you that good manners do not ALWAYS demand a strict adherence to the truth.)
I will pass over the sad, sorry details and spare you the lip-trembling horror.
Unless you INSIST, in which case I am available for hour(s) long personal interviews in which I dissect every detail, chew it over in thoughtful rumination and disgorge for your edified enlightenment. Notes & diagrams provided. Prices on request.
Suffice to say – if not ENTIRELY recovered – I am on the mend, able to sit at my desk for short periods if supplied with appropriate nourishment*.
Today I have risen from my sick bed to deliver two important messages in time for Christmas.
(1) MUSTARD
Of all the condiments used to enhance the taste of meat (or hide the cook’s mistakes), mustard stands in first place.
Every housekeeper and cook has her own special recipe and I am not going to REVEAL the culinary secrets of The Regency Town House, but I can tell you that on Christmas Day you ought to mix mustard powder with champagne rather than water.
You will not BELIEVE the difference it makes.
(2) CHRISTMAS PRESENTS
It is common at this time of year to bestow gifts: a housekeeper-ragdoll for a girl perhaps or a wooden musket for a boy, but when it comes to adults I can assure you there are only TWO things that will be greeted with UNIVERSAL gratification: money and a copy of my book.
* Port is my preference, although I will not turn up my nose at a decent claret
You will need to look to your own resources as far as money is concerned but, fortunately, there is still TIME to buy my masterpiece wherever you happen to be in the world by clicking on this link: https://mybook.to/Mrs_Finnegans_Guide
What is it about?
Life in the 1830s in ALL its multi-coloured glorious confusion to which I bring much-needed ORDER.
I deal with every possible dilemma from how often to wash your hair to dealing with memory lapses in PUBLIC (a trick I learned from Napoleon). I also describe how to get rid of bed bugs using gunpowder and what a lady should do when invited to a tedious tea party.
Your friends will NEVER forget such a gift.
No doubt next year they will try to outdo your generosity but ONCE they realise they are doomed to fail they will have to resort to that old standby: gold sovereigns.
Did I mention that my Guide is available at a REMARKABLY good price?
Or that some have called it
“bold, unapologetic and hilariously human” (Ignore the redundant adverb)
“ultra-quirky” (I have been assured that is a compliment)
“A belly-banquet of laughs” (I appreciate the sentiment while deploring the anatomical reference)
and my favourite comment:
“I purchased another one for a friend.” Seven short words that would warm the heart of any writer.
And I trust you won’t mind my repeating it can be purchased here https://mybook.to/Mrs_Finnegans_Guide
Mrs Finnegan is the indominable housekeeper at The Regency Town House in Brighton & Hove. All the proceeds from her ‘masterpiece’ go towards maintaining the 200 year old heritage centre on the English south coast.
She will be back next year writing about everyday life below stairs (if she still has a job) and her battles with a certain butler. If you don’t want to miss an episode sign up HERE and you will be told when one appears while the ink is still wet.
13 comments on “Mrs Finnegan has been UNWELL. Did You Notice?”
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A Good Confession
"Unputdownable" Miriam Stoppard
BRIDGET WHELAN writer 
Distressed to learn of your having been unwell, but heartened by your reappearance in the drawing room in time for a seasonal soiree. Please do not overdo it, allow time for your gimlet eye to recover enough to spot those acursed modern blots on one’s copy : the typo.
Life in the 1830s in it ALL its multi-coloured…
In deference to the good will of the season and in the interests of your convalescence, I implore you to forgive your slipshod editor.
Good Well, Dear Lady,
A Well Wisher..
Thank you for your kind comments, Mistress Tucker, and also for your diligence in spotting a childish error, now corrected.
It is so very hard to find staff whether it be editors or scullery maids who meet my (our) exacting standards. I wonder would you be interested in such a post – admittedly unpaid and unthanked – it would, however, carry with it a certain prestige. Just a thought.
sorry to hear of you having been unwell and hoping you are back in your fine form soon. I was hoping that you were engaged in some form of merry distraction that you would share with us in a surprise post. good to see you here and may you have a happy holiday season.
Other than a few laudanum-induced dreams, there was nothing about my absence that could be called merry. I am glad to be back where I belong and wish you a MOST enjoyable Christmas.
Thank you –
Mrs Finnegan’s work is also available just round the corner from her workplace at that estimable emporium which is City Books.
Thank you for mentioning the wonderful bookshop in Western Road, City Books. Mrs Finnegan’s Guide can also be found at The Royal Pavilion Shop, Kemp Town Books in St George’s Road and Jules’ Emporium in New Road, Brighton near the Theatre Royal. And from The Regency Town House at 13 Brunswick Square, Hove which will be closed for the Christmas Period.
My dearest Mrs. F.,
I am completely distressed and overwellmed by your ailments. I have heard goose fat and brown paper on the chest are good for some conditions. Would this remedy sooth the condition?
I do look forward to your recovery, before this Christmas time.
How is your dear husband?
Very concerned in Portslade,
Miss Ruth.
May you be well and have Happier Holy Days! (as well as a splendid New Year!! ❤
I don’t know how this happened, but I somehow forgot to respond to your very kind felicitations.
I wonder, would you believe me if I said I had a sudden relapse?
No worries. ❤
My dear Bridget,It grieves me exceedingly to hear of your indisposition, and I trust that your strength will soon be restored. Allow me also to offer my heartfelt felicitations upon the publication of your book, which appears most admirable. With every good wish for a joyous Christmas and a New Year blessed with renewed health and comfort.I remain, dear Bridget, your affectionate friend,Lesley
Lesley! Lesley! Lesley!
Such kind words, such generous thoughts, such silence on my part…I hope my reticence did not spoil your Christmas. I trust you didn’t sit at a corner of the festive table pushing turkey legs and slices of plum pudding aside, convinced that I had been overtaken by yet another mishap.
Find it in your heart to forgive the unforgivable. Lesley, I confess I was so out of sorts that I had indeed forgotten to look at my correspondence. Pardon the unpardonable. Overlook the underserving. Do something else to the unworthy…I am going to stop there…I think you catch my drift.