X is for….a X rated short story
One look told me that this dame was a no-holds barred xanthippe. It was a slow day in a month busy with final demands so when my office door swung open I was pleased to see a new client sashay in.
Neither of us said anything as we sized each other up. The office walls were thin and someone in one of the other cheap cubby holes was playing a xylophone. Yesterday it was a bassoon so I wasn’t about to start complaining.
The woman in front of me might be trouble, but I had to admit she was was stacking triple X chromosomes with her glorious xanthous mane and a neckline heading for the equator. She was scowling at me and her mood didn’t sweeten when a pile of xeroxed court summons slid off a filing cabinet and fell on to top of her.
She snarled as if she had just trodden onto something deeply disgusting: I looked down and realised that she had. A paint pot was dangling from the end of her shoe. I understood how she felt. When the decorators started just before Xmas, I was told the walls would be a cheerful sunshine , but the xanthic emulsion that was now dripping down her high heels looked more like xerotic parings from ancient toenails and not in a good way.
I attempted to fix an ingratiating smile to my face, but I suspect the result looked as xyloid as a tribal mask with Xestobium rufovillosum.
I palmed a couple of Xanac from my desk drawer: I didn’t want her to see how anxious I was, but inside I was praying that she sit down, stay awhile and push some folding stuff towards me. Play it cool, Xavier old boy I told myself. I patted my stuffed xenarthra on the head for luck. Hey, everyone’s got a superstitions, haven’t they? Other people have teddy bears? Well, I have my xenarthra and we’ve been through a lot together.
“I want to see your brother,” she drawled, a sneer playing ping pong at the corners of her lips.
Damn, Xerxes always gets the best jobs…
Know any more x-rated words…want to add a line to the story?
xanthippe (bad tempered woman)
xanthous (red hair)
Xestobium rufovillosum (death watch beetle)