Blackmail and Butlers – do the Two go Together? Mrs Finnegan Ponders in the Light of New Information

THERE ARE ONLY two things in this world that I hate and one is intolerance and the other is butlers.

I endeavour to see the good in all men, but Mr Cubbage makes it as taxing as climbing a very high mountain in old slippers in a thunderstorm.

He accused me of not listening to him yesterday which seemed an odd way to start a conversation about the benefits of buttermilk. Or possibly he was talking about his rheumatism, or there again it might have been about the vicar’s sermon last Sunday, one of the three.

His only redeeming feature is that he seems to have permanently abandoned his horse hair wig, for which I am grateful. It looked so much BETTER on its original owner.

Today he brought to my attention to a slim book called The Servants’ Practical Guide which, as as a published author myself, I was willing to peruse in the UNLIKELY hope it had something new to offer. Imagine my shock to discover it is intended for Masters and Mistresses. Is it wrong of me to think it ought not to be allowed?

Note that the phrase incompetent servants appears in the VERY first sentence.

Cubbage read aloud from a section that gave him much satisfaction:

…it has become very general in many large houses to dispense with the office of housekeeper and to unite it in the person of the cook or lady’s maid…

I snorted when I heard that. I predict riotous assembly if it should EVER become common practice. At the very least, there would be holes in bed sheets, dust on curtain rails and cobwebs in the cauliflower.

Cubbage left, smirking. I threw the wretched book to one side and it happened to fall open at a chapter that CAUGHT my eye. It was dedicated to the per centage that senior servants received on all the goods that entered the house.

The author deplored it, said it was unfair to Masters & Mistresses and tradespeople, Indeed, he declared it a kind of BLACKMAIL exercised by butlers and housekeepers.

Alas, he failed to say how much the per centage was (or how one arranged it).

Do you think Cubbage receives such payments?

Perhaps he is not so green as he is cabbage looking….

Should I ask?
Should I do, though?

On other unrelated matters, I remind you that what happens in October REVEALS what will happen in the months to come.

Rain in October means wind in December
A warm October means a cold February
When birds and badgers are fat in October it will be a cold winter
When berries are many in October it will be a cold winter.

So, winter’s coming.

Dear Reader
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