What to do when the Weather is a trifle above Mild…Sensible Advice from Mrs Finnegan

THIS IS A WARNING to all readers who may not be aware that in the summer prolonged exposure to the OUTSIDE can lead to drab BROWNING of the skin. It can turn anything from the colour of an angry boil to a shade reminiscent of lightly braised cockroach.

Indeed, it is my belief that the more refined the individual the more likely exposed areas of skin are in danger of actual burning. Imagine my surprise therefore when I observed yesterday that the BACK of Cubbage’s neck (our butler, do keep up) was as red as a turkey’s wattle. Redder. This being after his first half day off in a month.

I do not know what activities he PURSUES when away from Brunswick Square*, but he really ought to follow my example and not voluntarily go out of doors between the hours of 9 and 6 from May to September except for attending church services, performing good works and burying the dead. I have yet to hear of anyone bursting into flames, but why take the risk?

If you MUST go out wear gloves, carry a parasol and cultivate the acquaintance of tall people so you can walk in their shadow. Elderflower water has MANY excellent qualities, not least its ability to lighten the skin, so wash in it in liberal quantities. (I have a recipe but as the elderflower season has just passed I will save it for next year.)

*I once overheard him hum an air from Berlioz in the servants’ hall so I fear the worst. Yes, dear readers, Cubbage may be musical.

Laws of Nature

There are certain things you cannot fight against and it is best to recognise them and not waste energy in the HEAT struggling against the inevitable.

Dogs love you the most when they are wet. They ADORE you when they are muddy.

A dress is easier to get into than it is to get of it.

It always takes longer than you think even when you remember this maxim and double the time allocated to the task.

Other Useful Things To Know – How to get rid of Corns

Take two ounces of gum ammoniac,
two ounces of yellow wax,
six drams of verdigris.

Melt them together over a low heat and spread the mixture on a SMALL piece of soft leather, or if that is not available a piece of linen will have to do, but it is not nearly as good.
Cut away as much of the corn as you can with a SHARP knife before you apply the plaster. It must be replaced in a fortnight or when you next WASH your feet, whichever comes first, if the corn is not gone by that time.

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