Mrs Finnegan’s Brighton Almanac – How Needlework Solved a Murder Case

I tend my MOST sincerest apologies to my faithful readers who have had to wait a WEEK for this edition because of a painful indisposition relating to my right foot.

I have been SOLD balms, pills and poultices.
I have taken advice ALONG with lithium, menthol, camphor and potassium iodide. I have tried bed rest and chair rest and find the latter better as long as I can see what is going on and there is a plentiful supply of tea and biscuits.

My husband Master Peregrine has been inconsolable. The Mistress less so.

I can report that I am greatly improved and well enough to produce an edition of the Brighton Almanac. I am not entirely sure, however, about supervising the arrival of several weekend guests that the Mistress is expecting…

It is OFTEN said that if the first week of August is dry and warm, the following winter will be WHITE and long.
On that cheerful note, let us turn now to…

Murder Most Gruesome

I like murders to be grisly and long ago. This one gets FULL MARKS for grisliness but is far too recent to be comfortable.
Still, as last week was the fifth anniversary of finding poor Celia Bashford’s remains I thought I should mention it, ESPECIALLY as she was a Brighton serving girl standing 4 ft 3 inches in her stockings.

Wretched Celia’s head and limbs were severed from her body and dumped in a common cesspit outside her husband John Holloway’s lodgings in Margaret Street.

I could walk to Margaret Street along the sea front in perhaps 30 minutes or less, if my foot didn’t start to complain, which it WOULD so I won’t.

Holloway – who worked on the Chain Pier by the way – put Celia’s TORSO in a trunk, loaded it onto a wheelbarrow and buried her in Lovers Lane, Preston village. Was ever a country track so mis-named?

This print is a bit fuzzy but shows John Holloway and his second “wife” outside the Hare and Hounds pub at Preston Circus on the way to Lover’s Walk. Note the wheelbarrow. Also note that the woman was acquitted from any involvement in the crime so this picture is entirely made up and not worth the 3d I paid for it.

Within days the trunk and its contents were discovered and the news spread like wildfire through the neighbouring village, and soon found its way to Brighton.
Crowds thronged to the SPOT. Among them was a lady who was able to identify the victim. The dress the body was wrapped in was made from the same material her sister Celia had used in a patchwork not long before.

Without that bit of evidence John Holloway MIGHT have got away with his dastardly crime.
He was arrested, tried, found guilty and hanged at Horsham. The next day his body was displayed outside Brighton Town Hall and upwards of 20,000 came to see it.
It was later taken to Brighton infirmary to be dissected by the surgeons.

Saint of the Week

Saint Sithney Feast Day 4th August

This is a Cornish saint who appears to be famous for only ONE THING and that is something he should be ashamed of.

While still alive, God revealed to him that not only would he go to heaven, but he would also become the patron saint of girls. He was so ALARMED he asked to be excused claiming they would plague him for husbands and clothes and never give him a bit of peace.
“‘I’d rather have mad dogs than women,” he said.
So God granted his wish and I hope the barking keeps him awake.

Improve your Vocabulary One Word at a Time

Latibulate is an old and USEFUL word. It means to find oneself a corner and hide in it. Cats do it all the time, especially after LICKING the cream off apple pies. I am about to follow their example as I have left the Mistress a note explaining that I feel a relapse coming on.
In answer to the stable lad who bellowed across the Square: YES, women can get it too.

In answer to Master Peregrine. It has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with who finished off the last of the Port wine. Or the Madeira.

In response to the Mistress who complained she could not AFFORD to get such a complaint herself, all I can say is OH YES, she can.

 Dear reader, if you have enjoyed what you’ve read sign up for the FREE Almanac subscription service
There is no charge involved (all gratuities are EXPRESSLY forbidden) and delivery is executed by gentlemen with excessive good manners (some wearing top hats) or by some other means.

Click HERE and you won’t run the risk of missing another instalment unless, of course, Mrs Finnegan’s right foot suffers another indisposition.