for writers and readers….

A Twitter Confession

Looking back at the posts written a year ago when I first started this blog I’m a bit embarrassed about one in particular. My list of the kind of people I don’t follow on twitter made great good sense to me at the time and I stand by point two and three (don’t follow anyone who has an impossible number of followers unless their name is Stephen Fry and don’t follow anyone who is impossibly good looking.) It’s point number one that pricks my conscience…

head in handsHow blinkered and curmudgeonly of me (dictionary definition of curmudgeon is an ill-tempered person full of resentment and stubborn notions, often old) to take against women who have a hubster rather than a husband.

In true blog style I’ll list why I now feel I was wrong.

  • There are so many language misdemeanours why pick on a single example

  • And if I was going to highlight one why choose something so gender specific. I mean I hate the phrase “the wife” with a passion. Unless used in police reports, the word wife should always be preceded by a pronoun as in his wife, my wife

  • In the great scheme of things hubster does absolutely no harm at all. It’s an affectionate term – why should I stick my nose in. One woman’s hubster is another woman’s Romeo.

  • He who is without sin should cast the first stone etc etc. We all have habitual phrases and words we use as a kind of default – often without realising it

  • Don’t judge anyone by one word. I say this with feeling as shortly after writing that original post I started to follow (twitter & blog) someone who wrote interesting and lively tweets about the kind of things I’m interested in. As luck would have it, we were both booked on the same small writer’s retreat so I soon discovered that she was also a very nice person, as interesting as her blog and a kind, thoughtful companion. And yes, she has a hubster, not a husband. If she’s reading this: SORRY

Now I’ve got that off my chest, there’s another old post that I’m happier about: 8 reasons why a Writer should join twitter. That’s fine…I think.

Have you got a twitter or blog confession you’d like to own up to? (It’s good for the soul…)

Can you add to my list of people not to follow on twitter without being a curmudgeon?

Got a phrase you really, really hate?


photo credit: Silver Starre via photopin cc

21 comments on “A Twitter Confession

  1. Vikki Thompson
    August 27, 2013

    Ha ha ha, ok, I guess I better explain WHY I use the term “The Hubster” 😉

    It became apparent, very early on when I started blogging that I would be mentioning my husband on a regular basis. My husband….hmmmm, that sounds so formal, TOO formal for me. I didn’t want to use his name all the time, so needed to come up with an alternative. I considered ‘my significant other’ and ‘old man’ (which was used a lot during my childhood in South East London) and even ‘him indoors’ which is probably more “me” and the way I talk, but not sure my readers from overseas would have appreciated it…..soooo, he became, The Hubster (I’m not a ‘hubby’ person lol).

    I’m not offended that you may have judged me, but it has made me think that perhaps others do, but I hope not.

    This could inspire a blog post… 😉


  2. bridget whelan
    August 27, 2013

    So glad you got what I meant!
    And, of course, when I started to read you I judged you on the content of your blog posts and tweets – yours was the first blog I read consistently (and still do).
    What a fool I would have been if I had missed all that because of a sniffy attitude to one word…interesting though why you chose it. That can’t be an uncommon problem – how do we refer to our significant other when writing and a reference is appropriate but a name check won’t work? Over to you Vikki!!

    • Magz
      August 27, 2013

      Hubster is truly cool…..reminiscent of the Major Hubs most airlines fly into. As well, it is often the drop for a connecting flight to ones final destination…..forever feel that way about my (BH), Better Half…….and the journey has been & is Fab!
      You always provoke such creative thoughts! Thanx Bridget!…..Magz:)

      • bridget whelan
        August 28, 2013

        Thank you Magz! Love the airport image…think Vikki will too

      • Vikki Thompson
        August 31, 2013

        Thanks Magz 🙂

        And Bridget’s right, I LOVE that image! The Hubster is DEFINITELY staying 😉


  3. Laura Marcus
    August 27, 2013

    I still don’t know what to call my… my, what? We’re not married so can’t say husband or spouse. We don’t officially live together so can’t say cohabitee. We’re not in business so can’t say partner tho that’s the word I tend to default to, hating it hating it hating it. Quite like significant other but too long. Lover is ridiculous and boyfriend daft when you’re 57. Being Jewish, I use bubala because it’s a lovely word but it doesn’t just refer to your your… you know, him/her. I think it means beloved one. I use beloved too sometimes but that sounds quaint.

    I’ve never used husband though! He however sometimes calls me his missus which sounds very Andy Capp but then, he’s from the north, he’s working class and he wears a flat cap. And truth to tell, I quite like it in a postmodernly ironic way. Because I am no Flo!

    Brave to make this confession Bridget – a good confession in fact! And bring back a blog post from long ago. As it happens, I’ve never heard anyone use the word hubster. On Mumsnet it’s all DH isn’t it? For Dear Husband. Some I know find that nauseating.

  4. bridget whelan
    August 27, 2013

    Suppose DH could also stand for Dear Heart (an endearment from a Robert Redford film, can’t remember the title)…but this name thing is a problem…

  5. Laura Marcus
    August 27, 2013

    Also OH for other half.

    • bridget whelan
      August 27, 2013

      I know we’re so used to hearing it we don’t think about the actual meaning, but Other Half is a pretty powerful way of expressing what a relationship means – like it.

  6. Jacqueline Pye
    August 28, 2013

    Hello, Bridget. Good points, those. For some while I referred to John as The OM, but recently began to feel it was maybe a bit unloving. Have changed to OH which, as you say, is nice – though for me still not perfect. Maybe will use just ‘J’ now.

  7. bridget whelan
    August 28, 2013

    It’s tricky isn’t it? You don’t want to be dismissive but at the same time you don’t want it to be cloying…and using their name doesn’t indicate the nature of your relationship. Do men have the same problem? Do they think about it as much? There’s the famous ‘She who must be obeyed’ from John Mortimer’s Rumpbole which has caught on in some circles….which I suppose is affectionate (rather than accurate!)

  8. Laura Marcus
    August 28, 2013

    @Jacqueline what does OM mean? The Old Man?

    @Bridget thanks for saying OH is a powerful way of expressing what a relationship means. It’s a nice easy default one I think and it’s gender neutral.

    No idea how men deal with this. I also get called the Dragon tho it is meant affectionately.

    • jacpyeJacqueline Pye
      August 28, 2013

      Yes, the old man. Thought it wd be something different to OH, but have gone off it. As far as I can tell, John refers to me just as ‘my wife’ if it’s someone who doesn’t know me, otherwise plain ‘Jac’.

  9. bridget whelan
    August 28, 2013

    Hmmm dragon – it’s how it’s meant that’s important. Out of the misty depths of memory came a scene from an old black and white film. Can’t remember the title or the female lead but Alan Ladd falls madly in love & calls the girl Butch, short for butcher, because every time he sees her face it cuts him up into little pieces. Must have seen that when I was seven – a good line sticks….

  10. Laura Marcus
    August 29, 2013

    Ever likely had Veronica Lake in – they were paired in a lot of films. And I’m sure it was meant affectionately. Forcing me to Google…

  11. Laura Marcus
    August 29, 2013

    Back from Google. IMDB is your friend. It’s The McConnell Story. And you’re quite right, it is Alan Ladd. But not Veronica Lake this time.

    • bridget whelan
      August 29, 2013

      That’s it! You’re an incredible internet researcher to find it from those vague details…and yes, I remember thinking that butch was a terribly romantic nickname…

  12. Pingback: How Do You Refer To Your Partner? | The View Outside

  13. Laura Marcus
    September 1, 2013

    Och you don’t need much to find something on Google/IMDB. The quote was plenty thanks! And I like a challenge.

  14. 1WriteWay
    September 7, 2013

    I tend to refer to my husband as my husband since I actually try to avoid mentioning him in my blog (he’s a very private person and doesn’t care for social media at all). In early days we used to refer to each other as our “better half.” I always thought DH stood for “dear husband” and occasionally used it that way. I like the idea of referring to him as my better half because in so many ways, he is 😉
    I enjoyed this post by the way. I think we’re all guilty of misjudging. I’m rather curmudgeonly too and that aspect of my personality has been challenged by social media … but it’s a good challenge to have.

  15. bridget whelan
    September 7, 2013

    Thank you sharing – like better half a lot, such an emotionally strong compliment. Social media challenges in all sorts of ways, doesn’t it? Good for the soul….

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This entry was posted on August 27, 2013 by in Views and tagged , , , , , .


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